Ikawalong tawag

Ikawalong tawag
9:35 p.m.
December 13, 2002
Benavidez Residence

Iniisip pa rin ni Mikaela ang mga sinabi ni Leonard ng biglang sumagot ang nasa kabilang linya.

“Hello?”

“Hello? Pwede po ba kay Carl?”

“Love, kararating ko lang dito sa bahay. Pwedeng bukas na lang tayo mag-usap? Inaantok na rin kasi ako eh.”

“Ayoko.”

“Ha? Bakit? Ano ba yun?”

“Is there something wrong, Carl? Kanina kasi di mo ako pinapansin.”

“Ha? Pinansin naman kita ah. Dun sa dyip, dib a?”

“Hindi yun eh. Did I make you angry again, Love?” tanong nito. “It’s Leo, right? I’m sorry if I talked all about him. I won’t do it again. I promise.”

“Its not that, Mika.” Galit na ang boses ni Carl, and Mikaela got ready to listen to his scolding. “You keep on doing these things that I don’t like. Why do you keep on disappointing me, Mikaela?”

Biglang nag-flashback kay Mikaela ang sinabi sa kanya ni Leonard a long time ago.

“I’m disappointed with you, Mikaela.” He said. His voice was hoarse, and he coughed afterwards.

The memory was too strong for Mikaela that she didn’t notice what she had said. “Please, Leo… I’m sorry…”

“Leo? Leo na naman! Mikaela! Are you really my girlfriend?! Why haven’t you gotten over that stupid jerk?! It’s been two years, Mikaela! Two years! Pero ano to? Puro Leo, Leo, Leo pa rin ang nasa isip mo! Ganoon ba talaga siya kaimportante sa iyo para indyanin ako dun sa MRT? Did you even think about what I would feel about it?”

“It was a mistake, love…I didn’t mean to–”

“Mistake? Mistake! It’s two years, Mikaela. Two years! Two years committing the same friggin mistake. Masyado bang mahirap yun, Mikaela? To get Leo out of you life? Huh? Why do you still care for that jerk? Why did you choose him over me? Am I that unimportant to you?!”

“Emergency yun, Carl. Di naman kasi naoospital si Leo unless malala talaga.”

“So does that mean that you could just leave me there?”

Nagsisimula nang mairita si Mikaela. “Tinext naman kita, di ba? Tinawagan din kita. I told you where I was going and why. Ano pa bang problema?”

“The problem is us, Mikaela.” Carl paused. “I saw everything, Mikaela. Every single thing.”

Nagtaka si Mikaela. Hindi ba dumating lang si Carl noong hapon na para sunduin siya? “Anong sinasabi mo—“

“If you don’t care for him, bakit ganun pa rin ang trato mo sa kanya, ha? Mikaela? Nakita ko yun, Mikaela. Nakita ko kayong dalawa habang sinusubuan mo sya ng pagkain. Di mo yun sinabi sa akin.”

Ito na nga ba ang iniiwasan ko eh! Mikaela sighed. “Carl… the guy is blind! Hindi sya makakakain kung hindi ko sya susubuan ng pagkain. And I know that you would react like this, so why bother?”

“Because I have to know. Baka kung ano na naman ang gawin niya sa iyo! Why do you care for him so much, Mikaela? Di ko talaga maintindihan bakit balik ka ng balik sa lalaking yun!”

“Because he is my friend, Carl. That’s why! He’s my friend!”

Carl chuckled sarcastically. “Oh really, Mikaela? Or is he more than that?”

Hindi kaagad nakasagot si Mikaela, because deep inside she was trying to answer the same question herself.

“Carl… Leo’s just my friend, okay? Wala akong nararamdaman sa kanya. And if I ever had to make a choice, I’d still choose you.”

“Yeah right…”

“Bakit ba hindi ka naniniwala sa akin?”

“Kasi kitang-kita naman ang totoo eh! Mahal na mahal mo si Leo, Mikaela. You love him more than me!”

Hearing this from Carl hurt Mikaela a lot and the tears threatened to fall down her eyes. But she fought them all back. “No I don’t! Carl! When are you going to believe and trust what I say to you? Lagi na lang ba natin pag-aawayan ang mga bagay na ito? Sawang-sawa na ako, Carl. Sawang-sawa na.”

Saglit na natahimik ang linya. “A-are you… are you breaking up with me, Mikaela?”

“No Carl. What I’m saying is—“

“It’s Leo, isn’t it? That’s why you are breaking up with me. It’s all his fault.”

“Carl! Stop! Listen to me! I don’t love Leo, okay? But I love you very much, Carl. I really do. And I will never leave you, understand?” Even as she said these words, she began to doubt her own feelings. Nagsasawa na sya sa pagiging seloso ni Carl. Sa mga away nilang dalawa. Minsan naiisip din niya ang mga sinasabi ng mga kaibigan niya. That Carl has been controlling her life ever since he became her boyfriend. At first she thought that they were just jealous because she wasn’t giving them enough time that she used to give. Pero ngayon, napapagisip-isip niya na malamang tama nga sila. She did achieve a lot of her dreams. But still she isn’t happy. She always wanted to go further. To achieve more. And its partly because it would make her at par with Carl’s expectations of her as his future wife.

Maraming beses na rin niyang inisip kung ano ang mangyari if Leonard confessed to her first. Would she have given in? Would she have told him just how much she loves him back? Would she have chosen Leonard over Carl?

Biglang nagsalita si Carl on the other line, disrupting her thoughts about Leonard. “If that’s what you say, love. Okay. I’m sorry if I doubted you.” Carl said, his voice much calmer now. “I love you too, Mikaela. Kaya sana intindihin mo naman ang pagiging protective ko sa iyo. I don’t want you getting hurt by him again.”

“I know, love. But you have to trust me. Kahit anong mangyari, di kita iiwanan.” Mikaela replied.

“Okay, love. I trust you.” sagot nito. “You should go to sleep. You still have work tomorrow.”

“You too. Goodnight love. Sweet dreams. I love you.”

“Goodnight princess. I love you too.”

After giving Carl a kiss through the phone, she hang up.

But still, she remains confused. Mahal ba talaga niya si Carl? O mahal pa rin niya si Leo?

To be continued…